Worry, worry, worry. We all do it. I do it. I try not to but I do. It's easy to do. It's easy to obsess about something, especially when it's something we have no control over and may produce an outcome we can't anticipate. It's easy and perhaps somehow enjoyable to anticipate all possible outcomes, to imagine all possibilities in any given situation, most of which never play out how we thought they might. We worry about whether or not people like us, if our clothes are cool enough, if our income will be enough for all the things we want and feel we need, if we are going to screw up big-time, if we are enough. If we are honest, I think we worry far more than any of us realize or would care to admit to.
Regardless of your faith or belief system, I think we can all agree that worry is a worthless, negative, and draining habit to have and way to live. Worrying does NOTHING for us! Absolutely NOTHING!! So why? WHY? Why do we continue to participate in an activity that gains us NOTHING? It doesn't ever make us feel better. Nothing is resolved by worrying. And it really just makes things worse, dragging us down into despair and hopelessness. What have you EVER gained by worrying about something? I can't think of anything I've gained by all the worrying I do. It distracts me and keeps me dwelling on things that would more greatly benefit from, not worry, but peace, a release of attempts at control. I can't control much at all. I have my body and my mind...sometimes... LOL! And that's about it. I can't control anything but my responses, actions, reactions, and behavior. And that is never going to change. EVER!! So then doesn't it follow that to worry is insanity?? Are we not, by worrying about whatever, doing the same thing over and over and over and over hoping for a different result?? All worry is is fear giving us false feelings of control. By worrying I think we are attempting to exert our control over a situation which we are afraid has gone horribly wrong or may go horribly wrong. Fear.
I like to think, falsely I might add, that I'm not afraid of many things in life. I don't like spiders but I'm not really afraid of them. I detest public-speaking of any sort so that's prob'ly my biggest fear. But in looking more critically and honestly at this topic I realize I have more fear in my life than I realized. I'm afraid that people may not see me for who I try to be and who I am inside, underneath the sarcasm and jokes. I'm afraid of hurting people I love and even more of not working to rectify the hurt I may have caused when I am aware of it. I worry that my actions won't speak louder than my words sometimes and on and on. So I worry about these things. Not consciously, like I don't set about to worry about these things, it's not on any of my many to-do lists. I like lists.
So instead of worrying and trying to control anything but me, which is always much more of a challenge than I can overcome, I have to learn to let go. Let it go! However you have to do that. For me, writing things down helps. Just get it out of my head so I'm no longer dwelling on it and formulating it over and over again. Tomorrow will take care of itself. My peace doesn't come from worrying or giving into fear. In fact, I think those are the opposite of peace and are things which have no place in my life. My peace comes from knowing who I am in Christ; not who I am in this fickle, shallow, selfish, negative world. I am not your perception or definition of me. I am defined by my Father and in Him alone I find my identity a little more every day.
I'm struggling and fighting and learning everyday, which means I make mistakes and have success every day. I'm not better. I'm not smarter. I'm not prettier or wealthier. I'm not more clever. I'm not done. He's not done with me, thankfully!! And that is where my peace is.
I'm learning, ever so slowly, to let go.
"There is far more to your life than the food you put in your stomach, more to your outer appearance than the clothes you hang on your body. Look at the birds, free and unfettered, not tied down to a job description, careless in the care of God. And you count far more to him than birds. Has anyone by fussing in front of the mirror ever gotten taller by so much as an inch? All this time and money wasted on fashion—do you think it makes that much difference? Instead of looking at the fashions, walk out into the fields and look at the wildflowers. They never primp or shop, but have you ever seen color and design quite like it? The ten best-dressed men and women in the country look shabby alongside them. If God gives such attention to the appearance of wildflowers—most of which are never even seen—don't you think he'll attend to you, take pride in you, do his best for you? What I'm trying to do here is to get you to relax, to not be so preoccupied with getting, so you can respond to God's giving. People who don't know God and the way he works fuss over these things, but you know both God and how he works. Steep your life in God-reality, God-initiative, God-provisions. Don't worry about missing out. You'll find all your everyday human concerns will be met. Give your entire attention to what God is doing right now, and don't get worked up about what may or may not happen tomorrow. God will help you deal with whatever hard things come up when the time comes." Matthew 6:25-34
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