Midnight Sirens

“Midnight Sirens”

There are quiet moments

After the lights have been turned off

Gadgets powered down

When

No more distractions

Distract

The only noise,

Traffic outside

Sirens screaming by

Thoughts in my head

In these moments

Lying awake in bed

Waiting for sleep

Hoping

Praying

Dreading

It comes easily

Then

There

You find me

You come

You sit

On the edge of my bed

Or on the floor

With your back to the wall

Or lying next to me

In this

Too big

Too empty

Bed

You sit quietly

Watching

Listening

Being

Quietly

In my mind

Everything

Nothing

My mind that won’t stop

That can’t quit

That refuses to let go

And you sit there

Or lie here

And I rage

And I scream

And I ache

And I cry

And I break

When there are no more distractions

To keep you away

To occupy my mind

Then

There

You find me

Helpless

Confused

Vulnerable

Angry

Unwilling or unable

To put up a fight

To deny

To distract

To lie

Every day

Every moment

I fight you

I don’t want you here

Not like this

Not this way

Not this why

Measuring time by

Your absence

Your silence

Your distance

My emptiness

Then

There

You find me

Like this

This way

This why

A million questions

Wonderings

Whys

And you sit there

Silently

Lie here

Quietly

And I am

Here

Without answers

In silence

The dark

A pain

Slowly

Silently suffocating me

Distractions

Gone

Lights

Off

And I wait

Wait

For my hope to fade

For my ache to ease

For the want in me

That’s wanting you

To be fulfilled by someone else

Something else

I wait

For your call

For your touch

For peace

For one more breath

Before I sleep

Then

There

You find me

Here

Now

I am found